Saturday, March 26, 2011

Brain Food #15 - Knowledge is the Remedy for Monkey Butt-itis

After my Tough Mudder training, I realized that I was in a bit of a rut in the weight room - I found myself doing alot of the same lifts and set/rep schemes with no particular agenda in mind. One of the changes I decided to make for the next few months was to insert some old fashioned body building training into my upper body rotation every other week on Saturdays.  
The Austrian Oak
Where should an athletic performance coach step out of his comfort zone to do some body building training? The local corporate fitness place of course! Before I get to my recommended reading material for not sucking at life below, here is a list of my top 5 monkey butt moments from the local Average Schmoes Joes Gym Inc.

Monky Butt Moment #1 - I got there about 10:30 and noticed a guy doing arms by himself in the corner. No monkey butt-itis suspected...yet...When I left about 11:30 and he was still doing arms in a different corner. Now that I think about it - I have never seen him do anything but arms. Coincendence? I think not. Monkey butt!
MBM #2 - I saw a "trainer" there eating a puffed rice thing with peanut butter on it. While I'm sure it was extra yummy and filling, I could only wonder why people eat crap like this. Newsflash: puffed rice cakes have almost no nutritonal value. They taste like cardboard for a reason. Anyways...As I watched her "train" a client, I noticed that she had zero muscle tone and didn't look like she worked out much. Considering her snack before  her "I just stole your money. Haha" training session, I guess I'm not really surprised after all. MONKEY BUTT!

I can't stop laughing at this one...
MBM#3 - I saw a guy walking briskly on a treadmill in dress pants, dress shirt, and a tie while I was there. Did I mention that he didn't even bother to change out of his dress shoes?


Come on...Say it with me - MONKEY BUTT!

MBM #4 - The following is the exercise selection used by our cardboard and peanut butter-eating trainer to waste her client's time and steal her money.

Hanging leg raises and then stand around talking...
Big ball squats on wall with a DB curl/press and then more talking...
Bosu Mountain Climbers to Leg Extension while holding the edge to make it easy and then more talking...
Standing on a Bosu with DB's and talk some more (at this point I left...thank goodness)

Mind you...they only did one set of these in the span of about 15 minutes...The worst part - her client thought it was amazing. MONKEY BUTT!

MBM #5 - Rough total number of people in the gym when I left: 30
The rough total number of people using machines and cardio pieces:25
The rough total number of people weights: 5
The rough total number of people doing something productive on said free weights: 2 (me included)

Something smells...oh yeah...MONKEY BUTT!

If you would like to avoid possibly developing monkey butt-itis, please read any of the following articles...

Get Your Egg On! - This is a great article from Cassandra Forsythe-Pribanic on the merits of eating eggs. Newsflash - they actually are good for you despite the massive amount of mud slinging from the media over the years.

In-Season Baseball Training:Cressey-Style (Part One) - Eric Cressey is on the forefront of elite baseball training and has been massively influential in my programming over the years. Here is a multi-part series he wrote on his in-season modifications. Great stuff!

Part 3 - College Specifics
Part 4 - Pro Specifics

world class powerlifter and all around bad ass dude. Here is his take on developing the all important skill/trait of self confidence. A MUST READ!

Get Strong Ladies! - This is awesome article from Juliet Deane, performance coach/fitness competitor/powerlifter, on what women commonly & constantly do WRONG at the gym! This is part 1 of 6 so I hope to post the others in the future when I get a chance to read them.

Is Organic Food A Waste Of Money? This article from Jamie Hale is really interesting in that it completely rips on the idea that organic foods and their production processes are better than conventional foods. I'm not sure I agree with him but it is definitely thought provoking.

Gluten Is Not Your Friend! - This article was written by Alessio Fasano, a leading researcher on the fight against Celiac's Disease, which is an auto-immune disease triggered by gluten (wheat protein) consumption. If you have chronic digestion issues or an auto-immune disorder, there are several sections that I think you will find interesting.

2011 Brain Food Posts
#14 - A Literal Grab Bag of Cool Stuff To Read

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